How do ISTJ types behave when they fall in love or have a crush? We have gathered the opinions of various ISTJ individuals from the world and translated them for those who are interested in the ISTJ type. I hope this will be helpful for anyone who has a crush on or is dating an ISTJ!
The comments below are translations of various comments written in different languages. As a result, there may be some awkward or nonsensical sentences.
Comments
“ISTJ💓 – I sneak a peek at them and feel a huge thrill whenever our eyes meet, but I remain calm. – My tone becomes rigid when they suddenly talk to me. – I appear calm on the outside, but inside it’s a battlefield. – I would never initiate a conversation. – I often struggle to articulate myself. – I tend not to show my feelings, which often leads to failure. – I constantly hover around them in an attempt to catch their eye. – Everything I do is planned. – No one knows what I’m scheming in the background.”
“ISTJ – Initially, I may not even be aware that I like them. – If our eyes meet while I’m staring at them, I smile subtly. – I’m naturally tactile, but when I like someone, I tend to engage in more subtle touches. – If I frequently find them cute, I begin to question whether I like them. – Once I realize my feelings, I often feel flustered on my own. – I don’t mind spending money on the person I like. – If they leave room for interpretation, I become confused. – I hope they like me too. – I ask and remember their likes and dislikes. – I start taking better care of myself to impress them. – I try to remember everything they say, even in passing. – I deliberately maintain frequent contact and stay around them. – I readily give them my time. – I tend to overshare (TMI) in their presence. – I try to phrase my words nicely. – I frequently use phrases like ‘cute’ and ‘pretty’. – As things progress, I start to show my feelings more. – I play FOXY, hinting them to catch my feelings. – But I think it really depends on the individual.”
“ISTJ – I constantly stare at them, not just sneak peeks. – When talking, I can’t maintain eye contact, but I’m the one who’s constantly looking at them (meaning, I can’t look at them when they look at me). – I try to go wherever they are and always want to give them something.”
“ISTJ Unrequited Love – Yes Man (or Woman) – I want to do everything they like, if they mention something they want these days, I’d buy it for them, if there’s a place they want to go, I plan a trip and suggest going there. I give whatever I can without any distinction. Text, call – I tend to respond casually to friends’ messages while being extremely affectionate and attentive to the person I have a crush on, even doing things I previously thought were bothersome. I make it very obvious over phone or text messages that I like them, but when we meet, I act aloof, which many people find confusing. In truth, I was just frozen because I like them so much.”
“ISTJ – Sneaking peeks at them – Overanalyzing even the minor things – Tries to be around them – Never shows any obvious signs – Becomes curt when they speak to me – Laughs imagining things alone – Never texts them first.”
“ISTJ – I might be a little different from typical ISTJs! When I have someone I like, I go for it without hesitation! I ask them out and keep trying to get closer to them! I think the regret I would feel from not taking any action and missing out on this person is much greater than the hardship that could come from being rejected by them, so I always go for it!”
“Um… I am an ISTJ and speaking from my perspective, I can’t show when I like someone. But I’m always looking at them and thinking about them. If our eyes meet, I quickly avoid them. When they stand in front of me, I become speechless and only talk about official stuff… I don’t tell anyone that I like someone (I don’t even tell my close friends and my family wouldn’t know). Contact..? What’s that..? Of course, I can’t ask for their number, and Instagram..? I don’t even know if they have an Instagram account, I can’t even message them. My wish is to contact them at least once. ‘Wow, they’re good-looking!’ I think of this every day and on some days, I suddenly find their flaws and think that I only like their appearance, not them as a person. As time goes by, I just like their face, their voice, and everything they do seems cute. I’m having a hard time because I can’t approach them… I want to send a message first, I want to say hello, and I want to appear perfect, but I feel small so I suddenly take care of myself. These days, I’m even on a diet, I’m going crazy because I feel so insufficient… And does the other person know my name..? I think about this hundreds of times a day. When I see the other person in my field of vision, I suddenly become conscious of my voice tone, the current topic of conversation, the way I speak, my posture, my hairstyle, and my facial expression. Now that I’ve written it, it seems like I’m living a very annoying life, but I’m happier than ever. My everyday life seems to be tinged with a light yellow color. It already feels like spring has come. :)”
“ISTJ – Trying to find actions that could be helpful – Although I’m a bit cautious, I text them first frequently – Quietly making straightforward moves without playing hard to get – Not being critical – Making my advantages stand out.”
“ISTJ – I carefully consider whether I can like this person or whether I can approach them – I mess up a lot in the beginning – I often look at them with loving eyes without others knowing – I frequently bring up that person in conversation – I laugh a lot when I’m with them – I often ask questions or talk a lot – I start to behave a bit cunningly as time goes on (at this point, those with quick wits start to notice) – I often can’t decide whether to text them first or not.”
ISTJ: “1. I sneak peeks at them (eye contact). 2. I try to ask questions. 3. I try to be close to them. 4. I absolutely can’t send the first text message (if I do, it means I really like them and gathered courage). 5. I keep thinking about that person. 6. I try to have a conversation with them in any way possible. 7. If there’s a KakaoTalk (messaging app) history, I keep rereading it. 8. I attribute a lot of meaning to their actions. 9. I’m constantly nervous. 10. I feel very empty and miss them when they’re not around. 11. I plan questions to ask them, write them down somewhere like in a notepad, and approach them strategically. 12. I want to help them. Honestly, unless we’re close, ISTJs don’t tend to have a big crush as we don’t know the real personality of that person. If I like someone I’m not close with, it’s either because they’re really my ideal type or I’m attracted to a particular aspect of them. If I like someone I’m not close with, I’ll try to get closer in any way possible (This is a personal opinion, so it may not be the same for everyone).”
How to know if an ISTJ likes me: “1. Contact the ISTJ (consistently). 2. Look at the ISTJ’s messages – if there are personal questions like ‘What food do you like?’, the chances of them liking you are high. If they only sympathize and don’t ask questions, the chances are low… 3. Consult the ISTJ with your concerns – if they give realistic advice, it’s probably love. 4. After consistently contacting the ISTJ, check if they send the first message – if they do, it’s almost 100%.”
ISTJ (Subjective): “- I start to ask more questions (to keep the conversation going). – I have a desired answer from the other person, but I like them anyway even if I don’t get that answer. – I’m very observant but I never let it show, so there’s a high chance I’ll mess up. – I tend to like people who fit my ideal type, so you should pay attention when I talk about my ideal type (if I become detailed, it means I’m in love). – I only tell my closest friends, and if the word gets out, I can cut off everyone I’ve told, so don’t talk carelessly. – I can’t send the first message (only for official matters). – If I start a conversation with a question or a personal matter, it means I like them and it took a lot of courage. – I hate ambiguous relationships. – It’s hard for me to confess, but once I decide to do it, I do it right away (the moment I’m sure the other person likes me).”
istj: “I think about them all day, and I feel happy imagining my future with them. I remember what they like and dislike and try to align with their preferences. I remember every piece of information about them. I can’t meet their eyes well. I recall the moments I spent with them in my head. I write a lot in my diary about them. I smile more and am good at empathizing. – From the perspective of a real introverted ISTJ woman. Why are there so few ISTJs T^T ?”
ISTJ(P): “- I keep paying attention to them. – I feel good even when our eyes meet, even though it’s not a big deal. – I attach a lot of meaning, and if it doesn’t work out, I get disappointed. – I’m not good at approaching. – I’m awkward at expressing emotions. – I can’t send the first message. – If I have a crush, I attribute meaning to the profile music in KakaoTalk. – Even though I like the other person, I pretend not to like them. – If it seems like the other person doesn’t have feelings for me? I try to give up. – But I actually can’t easily let go of my feelings. – I try to remember everything about them. – I tend to be secretly jealous (This is my personal opinion:) )”
istj: “- I act cool (I’m terrible at acting cute or pretty). – I don’t confess first (due to pride). – Even though I’m in chaos inside, I act calm. – I look up their social media accounts. – I react whenever that person’s story comes up, as if I’ve set keyword alerts (normally I’m not interested in others at all).”
“ISTJ: I become affectionate, smile a lot, show interest, and try to spend more time with them.”
“ISTJ: 1. I run simulations in my head more than 100 times before striking up a conversation, thinking ‘If they respond like this, I should continue the conversation like this’ and so on. 2. I simplify things just for them. Though I usually consider every detail, that doesn’t matter with them. My ideal type changes according to them, and a simple eye contact makes me happy all day. When I get a message first, I feel like fainting. 3. I pretend to be okay outwardly but I’m a mess inside. I scream in my head like I’m on a roller coaster, but my face remains stone cold. 4. I try to remember every word they say. I want to be a person who suits them and helps them, so I even try to remember things they said casually. 5. I can’t initiate small talk. I easily contact them regarding official matters. But I can’t simply ask ‘what are you doing?’ and wait for an official matter to contact them. When I’m going crazy, I create an official matter to contact them, like asking about exam scope even when I already know. 6. If we are in the same school or institute, I don’t tell even my closest friends. I try to hide it even when looking at them, rotating only my eyeballs or pretending to look at something else around them. If an ISTJ tells you who they like, especially if you’re in the same school or institute? That’s a proof they really like and trust you, considering you a true friend. 7. Suddenly, I might get hit with reality, thinking ‘Is it okay for me to like them?’ and various thoughts. It ends with ‘I guess I don’t like them!’ but the next morning, when my eyes are automatically drawn towards them again, I get hit by reality.”
“ISTJ: 1. I try to find points of contact. 2. I remember in detail what they like and dislike. 3. I never make eye contact. 4. If I try my best and express my feelings but still feel like it’s not working, I try my best to get rid of them from my heart.”
“As an ISTJ: 1. If I like someone, I’m straightforward. I ask ‘Shall we be friends?’ right away. 2. I become diligent in everything. I don’t want to show any mistakes in front of them. Sometimes I make mistakes on purpose in front of them… isn’t it all like that? 3. I bring two umbrellas when it rains, two jackets when it’s cold, two drinks when it’s hot. I never know when I might want to give something to the person I like. 4. I give presents often. I suddenly give candies, rush to them with a cup of coffee when they have to stay up all night… I do that a lot. 5. I research what they like and buy it. 6. Then suddenly, if they get really close to me, I stutter with a red face… 7. I hear what color they like and purposely change everything to that color. I pretend it’s a coincidence… I feel like that these days…”
“My crush traits as an ISTJ: – I loiter around to catch their attention. – I purposely check their messages late. – I often smile when I’m with them and others, but I always have a poker face when it’s just the two of us. – When I want to give snacks or small presents, I distribute them to everyone. – I never show containing duplicate content. See the message above for the original translation.
“ISTJ 1. There’s a denial phase in my crush. I keep thinking whether we share the same patterns, values, personal rules, and ambitions, and often deny it, thinking ‘this person is not the one.’ When denial begins, it means that person has entered my boundary, and I’ve started having a crush. 2. I pretend to look directly but observe with only my eyes and nerves moving. It’s hard to approach directly unless it’s a situation that anyone would accept (public situation). So I desperately wait for public moments. I look straight into their eyes and speak well in public, but if it’s not a public moment, my heart sinks even if I accidentally make eye contact from afar. 3. I try to understand their likes and dislikes. I try not to do what they dislike, but I can’t really… do what they like either. 4. Initiating a chat? Initiating a chat? Initiating a chat?!! Isn’t initiating a chat a fairy tale?.. It’s always possible in work-related chats, but personal chat initiation is impossible. 5. If our social circles overlap, I never reveal who my crush is. Only my closest friends within my boundary can know about it. Even casual friends don’t know. Only my closest friends know my true feelings. 6. Although life is busy, I want to be perfect for him. I have too many things to do and I’m not particularly interested in others, but everything related to him, whether public or private, big or small, matters to me. I suffer as I ponder over every single mistake I made before realizing my feelings. I’m even upset that I didn’t diet more before meeting him. 7. I subtly hint. I can’t directly hint, but subtly hint while conversing with others (I only hint at terrible things). Even when I’m talking to others, all my attention is directed towards him. 8. The sad reality is that my crush probably thinks I dislike him. Hey ISTJ, I like you and I hope you feel the same.”
“ISTJ – I normally don’t care about anyone and don’t approach them, but I show a lot of interest in my crush and try to get closer. – I keep looking at them. – I’m a little nicer to them than I normally would be.”
“ISTJ – I collect information about that person. – I often say the wrong things when we’re talking. – My eyes naturally go towards that person. – I always want to show my best side and try hard to do so. – Unless I have something to say or we’re close, I won’t contact them first. – When I see that person getting along with others, I get jealous but I don’t show it. – I give subtle compliments and show a lot of reactions. If that person ends up with someone else and not me, I feel bitter but let them go quietly.. (Please note that the actions ISTJs take towards someone they like can vary slightly from person to person.)”
“ISTJ (Extremely subjective) 1. I do like them, but it’s unclear exactly when and where I started liking them. 2. A flurry of questions. 3. I predict my crush’s movements and deliberately coincide with them.”
“ISTJ (Subjective) 1. This isn’t always the case, but when I’m with that person, I think about what to do first? I’m a planner in daily life, but it’s not bad to just follow the lead when I’m with someone I like. I won’t always be with this person, so let’s give up efficiency when we are together! 2. I absolutely don’t show that I like them but I act like a robot.”
“ISTJ – I never show that I like them. – I secretly steal glances at them from time to time. – If my close friend and crush are talking, I subtly join them. – I try to be close to them or look at them subtly without anyone noticing.”
“ISTJ – I don’t show much reaction in general, so no one can tell that I have feelings for someone. However, inside, I’m in turmoil. But since I’m introverted, I wish the other person would notice first. I can’t say it first. But when the person I like talks to me, I usually talk logically and make rational judgments. At that moment, however, I become like a broken robot, stuttering and malfunctioning. Then, when I turn around and reflect on the situation, I regret my behavior and make rational judgments, promising to act differently next time, but I repeat the same pattern.”
“As an ISTJ – I don’t usually communicate often with people around me, so it’s hard to start a conversation and my frequency of contact is relatively low. – If we’re not close, I’d think a hundred times about how to reply and end up not replying at all. It’s not that I want to ignore your message…!!! – I express my emotions more with emojis than with typed text. – I laugh a lot when I’m with them. – I’m usually slow and not interested in others, but I remember even the trivial things that the person said.”
“ISTJ – I try to find any excuse to start a conversation. – I usually only say what I need to and end it, but I try hard to continue the conversation. – I would take classes that the person is taking. I can’t actively sit next to them, but I’m satisfied just attending the same class. I’ve given coffee once, like stamping my eyes constantly. – I suggest eating together. But when we actually meet up after setting an appointment, I feel shy and embarrassed. I stutter a lot. I don’t avoid eye contact but try to look at them constantly. – As more things overlap and the time spent together increases, I become comfortable and act more naturally. I start joking around and it’s not awkward anymore. It’s important to be as comfortable as friends. I can’t lose stability. + I never confess first. I wait.”
“istj – I think no one else has it, so I’ll have it. Firstly, I focus a lot on either personality, physique, or face. It seems like I pay attention to personality. I believe people can’t be trusted, so I don’t usually feel emotions like love. Even if I do, I keep it to myself unless it’s someone I really can’t afford to lose and I’d regret it like crazy.”
“ISTJ 1. I don’t know when I started liking them. It just seeps in and at some point, I realize it. 2. I can only think of that person. When I really fall for someone, I can’t think straight and I flounder. 3. I’m not good at showing outwardly that I like someone, but inside it’s a mess…haha. 4. I pay attention to and remember the small things and then surprise them with gifts. 5. I feel good all day thinking about them. 6. I try to adapt to the other person. I naturally do this, but I adapt even more when it’s someone I like. 7. I try to express my feelings. 8. I think a lot before I act, but I tend to get flustered and act hastily in front of someone I like. 9. I can’t make eye contact easily. 10. I worry that they’ll feel burdened if I respond too quickly to their messages, so even though I leave notifications on and know when they message me, I don’t respond right away. In reality, I leave all notifications on so I know what they’re saying and plan my responses. If I don’t get a reply after about 5 minutes, I read their message and reply as I planned. But if they reply right away, I get flustered.”
“ISTJ- I maintain constant eye contact. I become robotic in front of the person I like but I surprisingly show a lot of charm. I initiate the conversation (though ISTJ’s are not the type to do so, if they initiate it means they’re interested). I make playful jokes without crossing the line.”
“ISTJ- Neither I nor others realize that I take care of that person. It just seems like we’re very close friends. Many times, even when I get a girlfriend, they don’t realize it. Suddenly, I realize it at unexpected moments, for example when we’re talking and making eye contact for longer than expected or when she gives me something to eat and people ask ‘Are you two dating?’. In these moments, I usually deny it right away but suddenly start to seriously consider it. Even though I realize it, I don’t confess or show signs that I like them. I don’t even tell my friends. I just hope that to her, I’m just a very close male friend. After I realize my feelings, I stop doing things for her because I’m afraid that my feelings will show. This sometimes makes our friendship distant. A message to ISTJs 1. Just as I don’t express my feelings to them, they might not express their feelings to me. 2. I might be seeing their signs of affection through a very negative filter. 3. If I’m unsure, I should try showing them some signs of affection. Even small things are okay! Just like how nothing happens if I don’t express my feelings even if they do, if I don’t express my feelings, nothing will happen even if they show signs of affection. I support the love of all MBTIs (especially ISTJs)! Note: this is based on my personal experience.”
“ISTJ- This might vary as it’s personal, but I pretend not to be interested. When there’s something I can help with, I do so, but I’m worried about it showing so I only help and don’t talk about it to friends.. I just bottle it up..? In fact, I’ve never confessed first. I’m afraid my assumptions might be wrong… I wrote this because there seemed to be few ISTJ comments.”
“ISTJ- I act just like a friend when I’m with them. When it’s to reduce content size.The next part of the translation is as follows:
“ISTJ – I show no signs even when I have a crush. Without even realizing, my gaze tends to be directed at that person. – I can never make the first move. – If I sit next to them by chance, I get incredibly nervous. – If I like them too much, they appear in my dreams.”
“ISTJ who is currently having a crush – Due to pointless pride, I can’t approach first. (Rather than pride, this could be due to being timid or cautious) – In my imagination, I plan out how I will act when I meet them, but when I actually meet them, it’s a mess. (Sometimes I mess up trying to play cool) – I can NEVER confess first. – And, when communicating online, I am very friendly and comfortable but in reality, only an awkward atmosphere flows. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t an ISTJ but a person with an outgoing personality who is good at expressing emotions and naturally leading conversations. Then, I think my crush could develop into something more.”
“I’m an ISTJ. I think I’m incredibly good at sneaking glances and not showing any signs of interest, but do others find out…? Seriously, almost everyone finds out. I can’t focus on anything else. And whatever I do, I try to connect it with that person and approach strategically. I also do background checks and repairs.”
“I’m an ISTJ. I constantly look at them trying not to show it (although it’s very obvious). I communicate with them not for work purposes but on a personal level. I pretend not to be interested. I take care of them from behind.”
“As an ISTJ, usually, I don’t pay much attention to people around me and focus only on my work, but when someone I like appears, I can’t focus on anything else and sneak peeks at them all day. When our eyes meet, I avoid them.”
“As an ISTJ, I know my personality is rather rigid. When I become self-conscious, I laugh awkwardly and say, ‘Sorry.'”
“As an ISTJ, we don’t usually write about these things. I scrolled down and found only two ISTJs.”
“As an ISTJ, these are things I often do. I can’t help but look at them: even without realizing it, my eyes follow them. When our eyes meet, I immediately look away. I can’t initiate a conversation: I suffer alone. I have all sorts of fantasies: even if they’re nice to me just a little… no, let’s not talk about it. I show a little bit of my feelings: I sometimes act sly but I’m really bad at it. I’m usually cold but when I like someone, I dash towards them. I try to take care of them even a little more. I pretend not to care when the person I like talks to me but I really enjoy it: firstly, I’m extremely shy. I get all jittery and try to push them away(?): I’m floating with joy from behind. I get really jealous but I never show it. And when I remember the mistakes I made in front of that person in the past, I kick my blankets hard.”
“I(E)STJ 1. I ask a lot of questions 2. I try to contact them frequently 3. I give my time for that person 4. I analyze them and figure out what they like and dislike 5. I suggest doing things together 6. I become a handyman. Surprisingly, there aren’t any ISTJs down there…”
“As an ISTJ, do you all really make eye contact..? Really? I want to do it but I’m too shy…”
“ISTJ 1. I sneak glances at them (the key is to not get caught) 2. I try to take care of them as much as I can 3. I try to remember even the smallest things about them and want to know more about them 4. It might be just me but sometimes I find them so cute that I want to hug them and have all sorts of thoughts, but I hold back and don’t show it 5. I never approach directly and don’t have the courage to approach them 6. I want to be next to them (I subtly keep staying by their side) 7. For that person, I change a bit like an ‘F’ for a while 8. I’m usually cold and my tone of voice isn’t kind, but in front of the person I like, my tone of voice changes and I become a bit less cold.”
“ISTJ never confesses first. I thought I was the only one who had feelings and ended up giving up on my crush. When they approach, I am a solid wall.”
#ISTJ #Crush #arround #inlove #when #in #love