How do ISFJ types behave when they fall in love or have a crush? We have gathered the opinions of various ISFJ individuals from the world and translated them for those who are interested in the ISFJ type. I hope this will be helpful for anyone who has a crush on or is dating an ISFJ!
The comments below are translations of various comments written in different languages. As a result, there may be some awkward or nonsensical sentences.
Comments
“ISFJ – I am subtly quick to fall in love. If there’s a single point that I like about someone (e.g. kindness, consideration, eye smile, someone who looks good), I secretly imagine what it would be like to actually date or even marry them. Initially, I give off strong signals of interest, but when the other person reciprocates, I get shy and run away. When I’m with them, I have this motherly urge to care for them in their daily life. For example, I worry about whether they’ve eaten well, if they’re tired from staying up late, and how they’re doing. If the other person does the same for me, I’m deeply moved and feel loved. Generally, I try to accommodate the other person, but there are absolute standards that I can’t give up on. I hate feeling stifled. If I like them, I either go straight for it, or I’m fine not seeing them – so don’t play games with my feelings or string me along!”
“Myself – ISFJ💚 I quietly watch you endlessly, taking care of others as well. I hope others won’t notice that I like you. But when I’m nice to others, I secretly explode with jealousy. You don’t have to like me, I’m satisfied as long as you’re comfortable with me. I want to be helpful to you. But please understand my feelings. And even though I’m an I type, I can become a bulldozer at times, as if it never happened.”
“ISFJ – I secretly peek at them and smile – I often laugh (even small things make me laugh and the other person may feel ridiculed ㅠ) – I try to figure out what they like/dislike – I try to like what they like ex) I don’t like rap, but if they say they like it, I say I like it too – I try to remember even the smallest details – I think a lot from their perspective when contacting them (This is why my reply is slow) – I want to look perfect to them, so I might seem boring (I get serious even when they’re joking) – I often try to compliment, but I often hear that my compliments seem insincere.. it’s disappointing – I agree to whatever they suggest (I can often hear that my reactions seem insincere because of this) – I pretend to lose, or pretend to do things ex) If they ask if they look pretty today, I say ” yeah.. really pretty~” in a way that seems like I’m reluctantly complimenting (If I’m not interested, I say something like “Not bad?”) – I try to balance it out because I think they might feel pressured if I only go straight ahead (I’m not good at expressing to someone I like but I still try) – I look back at our conversation multiple times – I gather the courage to contact them first (But because I’m shy, it’s usually something trivial like replying to a story..) (Eventually, I only check Instagram all the time, waiting for a story to be uploaded)”
“ISFJs…we quietly look at them and naturally look at the person we find amusing”
“ISFJ – I keep looking at them. If our eyes meet often, there’s a high possibility that I like them. – I stay around them. – When I hear their voice, I unconsciously look for where they are. – As soon as I realize my feelings, I become self-conscious and can’t even make jokes or speak to them as I used to. – I try to match their pace and laugh at their jokes. – If I’m not genuinely interested, I don’t flirt. I try to compliment even on small things. – I try to take care of them by bringing food or anything else. – I can’t contact first. I just wait for them to contact me. – I can seem cold or indifferent to them, which may make them think I don’t like them. But I’m just being indifferent because I like them… I don’t dislike them. [How to attract me] – Be super affectionate. I get attracted and excited by affectionate people. – Please contact me first a lot… especially if we’re not close yet. (But not in a burdensome way!) – Look only at me with unwavering affection. – Don’t cause headaches with romantic relationships. – Keep in contact regularly without long intervals. – Absolutely no push and pull. The moment you push, I might give up thinking you don’t like me. [My ideal type] – A polite person – Non-smoker – A person who doesn’t swear – Max affectionate – Someone comfortable and fun to be with – A person wearing glasses – A person who doesn’t play games – A person who expresses their love directly and makes me feel loved.”
“ISFJ – never show any signs – I fall in love alone and get over it alone – always linger around the person I like and want to be noticed – when they approach me, I want to distance myself – If I’m sure that the person I like also likes me, I become proactive”
“ISFJ – I look at them secretly with a smile. – I laugh a lot (even at trivial things, so they might feel that I’m laughing at them ㅠ) – I figure out what they like/dislike – I try to like what they like ex) I don’t like rap, but if they say they like it, I say I like it too – I try hard to remember even trivial things – I think a lot from their perspective when contacting them (this makes my reply late) – I may seem boring because I want to appear perfect to them (they are joking around but I become serious) – I often try to compliment them but I also often get told that my compliments lack soul… it hurts – I agree with whatever they suggest (for this, I also often get told that I lack soul) – I often pretend to lose or force myself to do something ex) If they ask me if they look pretty today, I say, “ㅋㅋ Yes.. really pretty~” to not show that I’m trying to flatter them (if I’m not interested, I would say something like “Not bad?”) – I control myself from being too forward as I worry it might make them uncomfortable (I’m not good at expressing myself to someone I likeㅠ but I still try) – I look at our conversation several times – I muster the courage to contact them first (but I’m timid so I do it with something minor..) (later, I end up continuously checking Instagram waiting for their story to be uploaded)”
“ISFJ [When having a crush] – Continuously glance at them. There is a high possibility that I like them if our eyes meet frequently. – I hover around them. – When I hear their voice, I unconsciously look for where they are. – From the moment I realize my feelings, I become self-conscious and cannot do things as usual like speaking comfortably or joking around. – I agree as much as possible and laugh a lot. – If I’m really not interested, I don’t flirt. I try to give compliments, no matter how trivial. – I try to take care of their meals and so on. – I can’t contact them first. I just wait for them to contact me. – I may appear aloof or cold to my crush, making them think they are not liked. But that’s just because I like them… I don’t dislike them. [How to get my attention] – Be extremely gentle. I am attracted to and thrilled by affectionate people. – Please contact me first… especially if we’re not close. (But not too oppressively!) – Be faithful to me only – Don’t cause headaches in a relationship – Keep in touch consistently and frequently – Absolutely no push and pull. The moment you push, I may give up thinking you don’t like me. [My personal ideal type] – A polite person – A non-smoker – A person who doesn’t curse – Maximum affection – A person who is comfortable and fun to be with – A person who wears glasses – A person who doesn’t play hard to get – A person who directly and frequently expresses their love, making me feel loved.”
“As an ISFJ, I keep sneaking peeks at them… I get excited by myself just thinking about them… and then I get nervous..”
“As an ISFJ, I am timid and observe from the side… If they say something to me, I think about it all day…”
“As an ISFJ, I tried to message first and went into the message window, but the two words ‘what are you doing’ seemed too difficult, so I kept writing and erasing it until I finally couldn’t send it… As an ISFJ, when I like someone, I only look at that person, but I lack the courage to approach them first ㅠㅠ And when I’m in a somewhat similar situation, if the other person doesn’t show any signs of liking me, I become even more discouraged ㅠㅠ”
“I’m writing this because there wasn’t any for ISFJ.. – subtly proactive towards the person I like – focus on the person I like – I like funny people – I prefer straightforward men/women than those who beat around the bush – not good at confessing – I like polite people – Once I get really serious, my heart doesn’t waver”
“Personally, as an ISFJ, when I have a crush, I start to pay a lot of attention to them from then on, but I absolutely can’t show it. They don’t realize that I like them at all… so, in conclusion… Someone who is an ISFJ might seem like they’re not interested in me more than other people, or even dislike me…? They might actually like you…”
“As an ISFJ, when my crush enters my line of sight, I deliberately ignore them and pass by them, making even bigger reactions (so they can see me,,). When I’ve almost passed them and I sneak a glance at them, if they’re not looking at me, I secretly feel down… But if they are looking at me and we make eye contact, my heart beats out of my chest.”
“As an ISFJ, I try to capture my crush’s face and name in my eyes one more time. We often make eye contact as we pass each other. When I see them coming from a distance, I pretend I didn’t see them. I’m curious about information about them. If they’re my boyfriend/girlfriend, I pretend to meet a friend just to look at them. I react to the three letters of their name. I find their laughing figure really cute. I can find them anywhere. I feel very self-conscious when we’re in the same space. I find every little thing cute. I can’t actively approach them. I wish they would come to me first. I keep checking my story view history. I keep looking at their Instagram feed or story.”
“ISFJ (subjective) 1. Keep thinking about them whether I’m awake or dreaming (What are they doing right now, are they within a few km radius from me…etc.) 2. Screen all the moments with them in my head all day long (from recent to old memories) 3. Try not to look at them or looking elsewhere but super focused on any sounds from them 4. Pay attention to every single word and tone when asking or answering their questions. (Should I say anything is fine, or should I suggest doing what they want to do…etc.) 5. My face and ears turn red, and I tremble when they’re near me (Hands tremble and keep making mistakes when playing instruments) 6. I don’t like weekends when I don’t go to school 7. Check Instagram, Facebook, Twitter whenever I have time. + Keep looking at the previous messages 8. Lay down to analyze today’s events and imagine tomorrow’s events, I’m wide awake in bed. (Lie down at 12 and stay awake until 1) 9. My body likes to sleep in, but my brain doesn’t (wake up 2 hours before going to school, shower, curl hair, full makeup and still have time) 10. Get upset all day whenever I hear them talking about their female friends 11. Can’t go first to talk. 12. If I can’t see them for more than 3 days, my symptoms of thinking about them (no.1) get worse”
“When ISFJ has a crush – Continually looking at them, pretending not to, but actually watching – Can’t make eye contact – Voice gets lower – Everything they do seems cute, shouting ‘cute’ internally but managing to keep a poker face – Do things that don’t necessarily need to be done, because you want to be with them or do things together – Wanting to contact them, simulating how to send a message – Often just contemplating whether to contact them or not, and in the end, not being able to – Only becoming boring when around them – Worried about being too uninteresting to them – Trying to remember even the smallest things they say – Whenever they say something that even slightly excites me, my heart flutters all day – Trying hard to find common ground – Looking at their photos alone and feeling happy and laughing – It’s nice to see them having fun with other people, but on the other hand, I feel upset because they don’t seem to laugh as brightly when they are with me.
ISFJ – First of all, most people who have a crush on ISFJ probably won’t notice it because there’s no flirting and we don’t even tell our closest friends, we keep it to ourselves – Once they start talking to us, or contact us, we build up a wall or respond stiffly. We just act aloof – We quietly watch them or observe them, smiling or liking them – We often imagine being in a relationship with the person we have a crush on – We wish they would recognize our feelings for them, but at the same time, we also hope they don’t because it’s embarrassing – We attribute meaning to every single thing they do – We wish they would approach us first.
I’ve received a lot of help, so I thought I’d post too. I’m in the middle of a crush and I’m an ISFJ. I’ll talk about the signs that I show 1. First message – If you receive a first message from ISFJ, it’s more than half successful. We really agonize over it before sending.. 2. Lurking around – If we work or go to the same school, we try to create points of contact from a distance. Just like with the first message, there are days when we can’t even speak after agonizing thousands of times, but we always want to speak, so we keep lingering. 3. Setting a meeting – ISFJ finds meetings a bit burdensome, but if we try to set one up first, it means we’re almost there. In fact, we don’t want to get too close in a vague friendship, so we don’t really try to set up meetings, but considering that, it means we like you. 4. Always smiling when we meet 5. Remembering even the smallest things and taking care of you or mentioning them 6. Teasing in speech We usually don’t have much of a teasing tone, and if we’re affectionate, we’re generally affectionate, but we often throw jokes at the person we like because it feels awkward. 7. Always observing to take care of them What can I do for them.. ISFJ is like this, but in the end, due to the worry of being found out and the worry that the other person will feel burdened, there are more cases where we can’t take action. Don’t give up!!
I’m an ISFJ who’s in love with someone – When I had a crush, I couldn’t make eye contact and my heart would beat like crazy just from looking at them, but once it turned into unrequited love, I could look them in the eye pretty well if they looked at me first and my heart still beats fast – I do all sorts of shows to catch their eye – When they actually talk to me, I respond coldly – I can never start a conversation first – I act indifferent when they tease me, but inside I’m really excited and hope they’ll do it again – I get extremely jealous when they’re close with other girls (this seems to be the case for almost everyone) – I have all sorts of delusions – I just love them to death.
ISFJ (Strictly based on my personal standards) – It’s okay when we talk in a group, but when we’re alone, I can’t make eye contact – I can’t get close -> So I always watch from a distance – I can’t start a conversation well, so it’s easier to talk if they start the conversation – I remember small things and take care of them or think about them always -> I even check compatibility when doing MBTI – I try to match our hobbies – I think about them before going to bed -> When I get home and before bed, I regret not having said this or that – I try not to show that I like them, but my close friends all know – If they have someone they like, I compare myself to that person -> This is their style… this is how they’re different from me…
ISFJ keeps thinking about whether they like me or not, and if they seem to like me, I feel really good, but if they don’t seem to like me, my feelings cool down.
If an ISFJ contacts you first, it means they’ve gathered the courage to do so, and there might be some feelings there.. I don’t even usually contact my close friends first. I wish you know how I feel… T^T…
ISFJ – I praise them well when they do well – I respond well to their words, my reactions are great -> I might hear that I’m soulless – I say a lot of nice things – I talk a lot once we get close – I can’t make eye contact well // – When I text, I write and erase repeatedly – If I like them a lot, I might charge in without even realizing – I think about them before going to bed – My heart flutters easily even at small touches – I’m not sure if it’s just me, but I think I fall in love quickly – I behave very considerately – If they’re having a hard time, I encourage them a lot.”
“ISFJ initiates the conversation first and makes up excuses or creates assignments to contact the person once or twice. If this happens, it’s 100% sure that the ISFJ has feelings for the person. The point is that they reached out first. (ISFJ rarely initiates contact unless they’re comfortable with the person). They sneak glances from afar and when they see the person getting along with someone else, they won’t show it outwardly but they are extremely bothered internally. If they contact you first, it means they definitely like you (but it took them a lot of courage to express it, so don’t take it lightly or feel it’s inadequate).”
“ISFJ: Tries not to show any signs of liking the person! Strives to make playful jokes to get closer to the person! Prefers messaging to calling, and reminds the person about things they might need the next day (weather, preparation materials). They want to see the other person happy or surprise them. They’re afraid of people’s gaze, but when they look into their eyes, they feel like they’re being sucked into the universe. They want to share their concerns and worries, but even in a close relationship, they try not to cross the line.”
“What..? Am I the only aggressive ISFJ..? I mean, I do fluctuate between E and I, but I’m seriously very straightforward. If I know their number, I send them a lot of messages and get very clingy at school. I talk a lot and make it blatantly obvious that I like them. Is that weird..? haha.”
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