How do INTJ types behave when they fall in love or have a crush? We have gathered the opinions of various INTJ individuals from the world and translated them for those who are interested in the INTJ type. I hope this will be helpful for anyone who has a crush on or is dating an INTJ!
The comments below are translations of various comments written in different languages. As a result, there may be some awkward or nonsensical sentences.
Comments
“INTJ – I remember everything about the person, from one to a hundred to a thousand – I have trouble speaking when I’m in front of someone I like – I’m always ready to help when needed, and I’m always around – I pretend not to wait for the call all day, but when I get one, I purposely reply late over 80% of the time – It takes a long time to get attached, but once I do, I really like them till the end – I like it when the other person is proactive.”
“If it seems like ‘coincidences’ are constantly happening with an INTJ, it’s all part of INTJ’s meticulous ‘plan’.”
“INTJ- I’m not sure what to do, so I think of giving small things like snacks and if they refuse, I think to myself that it was unnecessary. If we end up talking, I remember everything they say and naturally create an encyclopedia of them in my head. I try to be as close as possible… I’m not sure how to approach, am I weird?”
“INTJ- I don’t know if it’s just me, but when there’s someone I like or find attractive, I want to know more about them and make them realize that I’m a good person. I usually find contacting people around me annoying, but with that person, I want to contact them first, just like that…”
“INTJ- I’m desperate to make eye contact somehow. I prefer making eye contact and having a conversation with my crush or just watching them over direct conversation or action.”
“INTJ – I reach out at least once a day. – I send a first message at least once a week. But if the other person doesn’t reciprocate after I send 10 messages, I think they’re annoyed and stop sending them. – I don’t show my feelings at all. – No one knows that I like them (except for cases where my close friend tells me that they like the person I like) – I act as if I have no interest – I show a lot of reaction – I stay around the person I like – In my imagination, we’re already dating and I’ve confessed, but I have no intention of saying that I like them and haven’t done so – I think about the person I like all day – I’m passive yet assertive, assertive yet passive – I pay a lot of attention. If the person I like already has someone, I can’t approach them. I’d rather show my feelings. If not, I’m neither here nor there. Just talking a lot and having a lot of conversations is best. But in the end, I prefer the person I like>>>>>>the person who likes me, so the only way is to understand their preferences and become such a person. I look at the face, personality, and way of speaking. It may not be the case for other INTJs.”
“INTJ- I observe by staring intently, analyze tastes through SNS, and fantasize and plan from A-Z on how to succeed in a relationship.”
“INTJ- I want someone I can converse with. I don’t like those who are overly self-centered or ignorant, I like those who have clear goals and dreams and put in the effort accordingly. Other than that, honesty, initiative, knowledge, and personality matter. But when an INTJ has a crush, they absolutely don’t show it. They just try to be around without showing it. So when an INTJ has a crush, it’s doomed. They can’t confess and just shut down. They rarely send messages first to others, but when they have a crush, they do. They only confess or make a move when they’re certain, but most of the time, they just see their crush as a friend. That’s me….”
“INTJ woman here (this is just my personal experience and it doesn’t guarantee that all INTJ types would act the same way. I will talk about how I acted before I met my boyfriend.) At first, I denied my feelings of affection. Then, as I slowly admitted that I liked him, I investigated his type, information, and social relationships. I always made sure to attend any meetings or social activities he was part of, even if it meant adjusting my schedule. My use of emoticons and the number of questions I asked in messages and calls significantly increased. I always complied with his requests, and I never found it wasteful to spend time or money on him.”
“I wish more INTJs would comment… I want to click like and empathize with others…”
“INTJ here. I like someone to the point of stalking. I remember and store every tiny detail.”
“INTJ 1. I subtly strike up conversations – planning topics in my head and executing them. 2. I want to show off my intellectual side – I want to show off my strengths. 3. Even though I’m usually quite stiff and aloof, I become a bit more affectionate. ‘Oh really?’ even this phrase becomes a bit softer. 4. I become a serial question mark killer. 5. I can’t stop laughing. The more comfortable I get, the more I laugh. 6. Even if it’s at the expense of my time, I don’t feel bad. Rather, I want to help. 7. I’ve already figured him out. I’ve predicted what his MBTI type is, what his personality is like, how he’ll react to things (but I’m terrible at remembering names and birthdays, is it just me?)”
“INTJ When he’s around, it feels like I’m not myself, except for my physical body. I plan on how to act, but when I encounter him, I blank out. So, I don’t really like running into him, I prefer to observe him from a distance. I like figuring out everything about him, what he often does, what expressions he often makes, what kind of clothes he likes, and I find happiness in knowing things that others don’t.”
“INTJ I just hang around him, remembering all his likes and dislikes such as hobbies, food, songs, and try to accommodate him in every possible way. But if I see that he’s not interested in me or feels burdened, or if I see no hope, I cleanly give up before I get hurt. *This is just my case, not applicable to everyone.”
“INTJ I ask questions incessantly to the point it might seem weird. I get flustered and blank out.”
“INTJ – I take note of what the person I like says during our conversations and surprise them with gifts related to that – I initiate contact – I try to be a mature person they can rely on – I avoid doing things they mentioned they dislike during our normal conversations – When deciding on the next location to hang out with other friends, I remember if they mentioned they had a stomach ache a month or two ago and avoid places like bars or places that serve caffeinated drinks(especially when they go to the bathroom) – When they seem to be in a bad mood or depressed, I search the internet for foods or gifts that could help uplift their mood and gift them flowers that symbolize support – I ask about their hobbies, favorite foods, and games, etc – I write them letters!! I look for nice quotes or sentences and try to write them in pretty handwriting multiple times – On cold winters, I prepare heat packs 20 minutes before meeting them and quietly hand it to them – But I can’t express my feelings directly when I meet them – I also wait for the right time to confess my feelings, when I’m sure about my feelings and when they seem to be in a good place”
“INTJ (I am a student) 1. My friend is always in my line of sight 2. I find out what activities my friend is involved in(ex: clubs, after school activities, specialized activities, reading, etc) 3. I try to participate in those activities with them 4. While I may take 7 hours to read messages from others, I read my friend’s messages in a minute 5. I approach them when they seem to need help and help them out 6. I stutter in front of my friend, unlike usual 7. I create situations and naturally strike up conversations(try to stand out) 8. I ask questions when we seem close 9. I remember their answers to my questions(ideal type, values, interests, likes, dislikes, etc) 10. I talk about things my friend seems interested in 11. I don’t usually think about others, but I often think about my friend(ex: They said they liked this, I want to go there with them, I have to tell them about this, what they said) 12. I predict actions that my friend might like and act upon them 13. I always carefully observe their expressions(I am an INTJ, so I am quick to notice their feelings through their expressions). If they seem upset, I listen to their troubles and comfort them seriously 14. If it seems like my friend also has a crush on me, I slowly reveal my feelings(making sure they are as comfortable and not burdened as possible)”
“INTJ I act as if nothing is happening. I’m not sure if it’s just me, but I think I’m really good at pretending like nothing’s happening. I liked one of the three people I saw every day, but nobody knew even after over 4 years,, so after I sorted out my feelings, I told the other person that I used to like that person and they said they never had a clue lol”
“INTJ traits: When I have someone I like, I act foolish. I try to talk, but it feels like I’m starting a fight, which is terrible. Normally, I live with the mindset that everyone likes me, so even when someone truly likes me, I don’t notice it. (I’m the worst object of unrequited love. I become an impregnable fortress.)
As an INTJ, I pretend not to know or care until the end. If the other person is unaware, I secretly help from behind, but I make sure they never know. I always act like I don’t like them. I am great at acting. I will always be there when you are in trouble. And I will test whether you can do it without me. Every move is planned. There’s no such thing as coincidence. It’s all in an INTJ’s head.
INTJ – Asking questions – Asking questions about that person – And memorizing everything I know about that person – Thinking about what to do for that person on special days, even if their birthday is far away – When they’re depressed, I ask why and suggest solutions – I constantly check their SNS – I must appear perfect in front of that person – I don’t intentionally stare, but I find myself doing so – I ask a lot of questions. You could say I’m making a dictionary about them – I only think about how to intersect paths with them – Almost stalker-like
INTJ – Staring intensively – Researching how to see that person more (like a stalker) – Remembering every little detail about them (e.g., birthday, hobbies, dislikes) – My body becomes stiff, and my actions seem exaggerated or unnatural.
INTJ – I can’t initiate a conversation. – I’m subtly lingering around. – I try to meet them under the guise of coincidence. – It takes tremendous courage to start a conversation. Depending on my self-esteem, the difficulty of starting a conversation with them varies. – I stalk their Facebook and Instagram. If their phone number is visible, I create a new KakaoTalk account to stalk them – I ask a lot of questions (there are many cases where I lose interest depending on their answers) – I try not to show that I like them.
INTJ – I smile a lot at the person I like and even laugh at lame jokes.
As an INTJ, I look at them and approach them pretending it’s a coincidence (I’ve thought a lot about it so even if it doesn’t go as planned, I’m happy that I at least spoke). I respond immediately to their questions (but I always regret what I said later).
As an INTJ, I check messages quickly, ask what they’re doing, listen to their opinions and react accordingly. I show my interest and ask a lot of questions.
Among all the MBTI types, INTJ is said to be the most rational!! (It’s me..) I go ask questions about unfamiliar problems / chat. When he is in the same class, I go to see my friend and listen to his voice secretly. I secretly look at his face/back/side profile in the cafeteria. I check his elective subjects (FYI, he is a science major and I was a mix.. But I chose chemistry and biology next year because of you, you bad guy). I go near him to borrow a textbook. I accidentally send a wrong message.. I linger in his class corridor. When I have a chance to speak, I become a puppet. I barely suppress my upturned lips with all my focus. These days, it’s better thanks to the masks. After behaving so frustratingly and when it’s all over, I regret and curse inside, but I never show it (or so I believe.. I am quite dull when it comes to dating senses, he might have noticed). It’s been 5 years, it’s really hard but I can’t quit because I like him too much.
As an INTP and INTJ, I quickly reply to messages and laugh secretly. But I feel like I shouldn’t get caught, so I act like I don’t like them. Do I like this person? Probably not. I guess I do!!!!!! I guess he doesn’t like me.”
“INTJ – I don’t express my feelings openly – I tend to worry and compliment a lot – But, I often deny that I like someone to myself”
“INTJ – I pour all my money, time, and attention into the person I like. I adapt my life to theirs and once I fall in love, I fall hard. However, if I feel like my feelings are unreciprocated, I’ll immediately cut ties. Push and pull tactics tend to backfire with me. My MBTI type is a bit complicated.”
“INTJ – I research everything about the person I like. – I try to be around them pretending it’s a coincidence, although I can seem like a stalker. – I’m not good at striking up conversations. (In my head, we’re already dating.) – I keep a poker face in front of them, but unknowingly smile after they pass by. – I become affectionate only towards them. – I subtly become grumpy when we’re together. – I get obsessed if they seem to have a good vibe with someone else (though I don’t show it). – I find out their schedule and try to bump into them pretending it’s a coincidence. Even to me, my personality seems weird.”
“I’m an INTJ woman. What I do when I have a crush: 1. I try my best to flirt (for INTJs, flirting=asking questions). I ask tons of questions because I want to know everything about the person. 2. I stalk them a lot (I check all their social media and try to find out their lifestyle). For example, I research their MBTI type in detail, thinking about how I can win their favor. 3. When I text, I always give answers that can lead to more conversations, or I text first without any reason (it’s a difficult task that requires tremendous resolve). 4. I keep sneaking glances at them. Truth be told, INTJs are not good at showing they like someone because they’re shy and they don’t know how to flirt… When I give up on my crush: 1. If I feel like there’s no response from the other person for a long time, I get a reality check and decide to move on because it feels wasteful to invest emotions.”
“INTJ – I research the person in detail – I consider even small things for the person – It takes me some time to like someone but once I do, I keep on caring – I remember everything they say – Once I fall out of love, I never go back – I never forget that one person – I only think about that person all day – I’m not good at showing that I like someone”
“INTJ 1. First of all, I initiate contact – Before reaching out, I prepare plan A and B for all possible responses. 2. I ask a lot of questions. 3. Once we get closer, I ask about their ideal type – Then I suggest, ‘Isn’t that like me?’ and watch their reaction. 4. I try to bump into them at school constantly. 5. I subtly show off my skills. 6. I make my eyes look as attractive as possible when I smile. 7. I remember every little thing. 8. I initiate the conversation until they start it. 9. No obsession. 10. Once I figure out they are really decent, I ask if they have any concerns about dating. 11. I compliment them a lot and comfort them a lot. 12. I listen to them a lot.”
“INTJ – I thoroughly research everything about that person – Create empathy based on those findings – Remember every single word they say – Pay attention to even the smallest details – Look them in the eyes when speaking – Smile when they smile – Respond and ask questions well when they talk – Keep a poker face while feeling a flurry of emotions inside – Try not to show any signs around them – Don’t show that I like them – Pull hard when the time is right – Soften up for that person only – Simulate our meeting a hundred times – Spray perfume to leave a good scent – Think about them all day – It takes some time to like someone, but once I do, I only focus on them.”
“INTJ – I fall in love fast and deep – I hate rushing things, even dating should take time – I’m considerate towards the person I like, adjusting to them – I’m easy to take advantage of, I buy things not because they asked but because I want to, and suddenly send gifts.”
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