How do INTP types behave when they fall in love or have a crush? We have gathered the opinions of various INTP individuals from the world and translated them for those who are interested in the INTP type. I hope this will be helpful for anyone who has a crush on or is dating an INTP!
The comments below are translations of various comments written in different languages. As a result, there may be some awkward or nonsensical sentences.
Comments
“I try not to show any signs of liking someone as an INTP, but it’s noticeable. People often ask me if I like someone or if we are dating. I deny it so fervently, but my facial expression gives it away and I always fail. I often lack the courage to confess my feelings, which usually ends up with nothing happening. I eventually give up and struggle with it alone. I don’t share much about myself, so I don’t really know how to get advice about relationships. I just look at other people’s love stories or successful crush stories and feel bitter alone.”
”INTP pretends not to have anyone they like and acts disinterested, but in reality, they observe and study more than anyone else, so they know the most.”
“INTP doesn’t show they like someone. Somehow if they get close and it seems like the other person likes them, they become bold. But they never confess first. They observe the other person and search a lot about their MBTI. Even if the other person doesn’t like them, they don’t get hurt much. Their standards are very high, so they rarely like someone.. I wrote this because I couldn’t find any INTP.”
“As an INTP, when I like someone, I don’t let my laziness get in the way. I’m like a car without brakes, going straight ahead. I stare at the person all day long, and though I avoid eye contact, I let my imagination run wild with all sorts of fluttery thoughts. I’m not good at approaching someone because it’s embarrassing and bothersome, and often miss opportunities. I’m not good at taking the initiative, so I wish the other person would approach me. Still, when I’m with the person, I really enjoy their company. My body automatically gravitates towards them, and they take up a significant part of my life. The person who can move an INTP like me is truly charming.”
“INTP – Always stares at the person – Want to stroke their hair, but refrain and exchange greetings instead – If not close, just watch from a distance”
“INTP definitely never shows they like someone. Even if they do approach, they never show it. They rarely check their messages even from people they like (though this might just be me). The response time is shorter than when messaging other people…ㅜ If they respond to your messages well, then it means INTP really likes you. Even when they approach and talk because they like you, they pretend to be indifferent. They try not to look at you, but at some point, they find themselves only looking at you.”
“Even if INTP has a crush on someone, they find regular contact bothersome. It feels more difficult as they have to put more thought into it. However, each contact seems to be sent with care. It’s not the time that matters, but the content.”
“I wasn’t going to leave a comment, but the thought of a kiss combined with cigarettes and coffee shocked me. I’ll leave my feelings at the moment in this comment. The people I like are smart, wise, mentally healthy, and someone I can respect, who can live an admirable life. The behavior towards a person I like is…just watching from afar…”
“INTP never ever shows that they like someone in front of them. Should I ask, ‘What are you doing?’ After hundreds of contemplations and guessing the answers, they end up not doing it. They simulate everything at night. But in reality, it doesn’t go as planned. ‘I must ask this tomorrow! I have to talk to them tomorrow!’ They make this resolution but then end up failing due to their indifference. Thus, the repetition of indifference, indifference, and indifference…so their crush failed. Damn, my crush got a girlfriend yesterday.”
“I’m not sure if it’s just me (INTP), but I’m single and feel like a passerby student1. If I have a crush, I try to find the right timing to talk to them. But then someone else comes along and I miss the timing…ㅜ If I have feelings for someone of the opposite sex, I just act naturally with the sort of words and actions that I could even use with someone I’m not close to… Because initially, it’s just a light feeling like, ‘Wow…he’s handsome..? He works out…interestingㅎ Do I like him..?ㅋ’ I’m not sure right now, even my friendships are complicated, I don’t know…”
“Why can’t I find any INTPs even when I look for them with open eyes… Is this also a characteristic of INTP..?”
“INTP shows consistent interest and endless questions. And I never missed your message.”
“INTP trolls a lot. Despite their calm demeanor, they suddenly talk a lot and forget how to take a joke.”
“INTP – Asking questions – Responding to messages (it’s not about being fast or slow. Just… responding to messages indicates… a crush….) – Indifference – Indifference – Indifference.”
“INTP looks cold and quiet on the outside, but in reality, they’re full of affection and want to receive it too, but due to their introverted nature and overthinking, they become extremely nervous and indifferent in front of the one they like. They pretend as if they don’t like you and have no interest in youㅠㅠㅠ They deliberately talk about things that have nothing to do with you and it seems like you are distancing yourself from me because of that … Once I get home, I try to find a reason for every single thing you did and wonder if you might have an interest in me? But then I daydream again the next day…. Selfishly, I wish the person I like would really like me and approach me…”
“INTP: Observation…and observation, and observation. (Especially their eyes) Small gifts when close. Like candies… Analyzing their preferences. Questions questions questions.. Gathering a lot of courage to make appointments…”
“INTP, this might be personal, but I think there’s nothing but watching from a distance and subtly getting closer… In my head, I’m already confessing and dating, but I can’t express it in words or actions, so I just watch from a distance and naturally end up liking someone else… (I’m a bit fickle, but it lasts quite a while).. I think it’s hard to flirt or confess unless someone approaches me first.”
“INTP * At first, I try not to show any signs even if it kills me+Denial stage * I try not to show any signs until both parties confirm their feelings * I just want to be a good person to them and try to show them some signs, not sure if it’s noticeable to others. * I don’t know if it’s personal, but I like seeing new sides of someone. ‘Oh, they have this charm?’ kind of feeling + I don’t particularly like smart people, but I don’t like stupid people. I’m satisfied with someone who can communicate at a basic level. (Of course, it’s nice if they can teach me something interesting in a field I don’t know)”
“INTP, subjective experience – If the person I like is introverted, I suddenly become extremely extroverted and tease them…if they’re extroverted, I become very stern and stiff – I don’t try to hide my feelings, but no one seems to notice – Usually, I take 3 days to reply to other people or I don’t check their messages at all, but if it’s someone I like, I reply within a day. The reply isn’t a short one, it’s a sincere message.. (like a joke or an update on my life) – I normally don’t care about others, but I care a lot about this person!”
“INTP, based on my experience – I try to find something to talk about and send the first message – I like it when the person I’m interested in asks me questions – I research what the person likes – I think about why I like that person – When they reply, I read it in the preview and think about the best response before sending it – I become stiff in my messages, words, and actions when I’m around the person I like.”
“Here’s what an INTP-A, like me, does when they are around someone they like. – Starts a conversation with small talks and reads your messages quite quickly. (For INTPs, who are inherently lazy, initiating a conversation takes a lot of courage. Also, making an effort to continue the conversation with meaningless small talk like ‘Have you eaten?’, ‘The weather is good today’, indicates that they are interested in you, at least to some extent.) – Tries to show that they are hardworking. (Since they know they are lazy, they will try to work hard in front of you.) – Listens to your stories attentively and tries to empathize. (INTPs usually take over the conversation with their own stories while listening to others. But if they don’t interrupt you and listen to your story attentively, they are interested in you. And if they try to empathize with you by saying things like ‘Oh really? Wow!’, then it’s confirmed…or at the very least, it might be a persona built by social life. Anyway, it’s not common.) – Remembers details about you. (INTPs are good observers, but their memory is not so good, so they tend to forget about things outside their interest. If they remember details about you, it means you are within their interest.) – Stammers. (If they stutter in front of you, it’s 100% confirmed. If someone who usually speaks well suddenly stutters or makes a joke that’s hard to understand, there’s a high chance they’re flirting. It might feel strange, but if you feel like ‘They’re doing something for me, but it’s weird. They’re stuttering’, then it means INTP likes you very much.) ※Note: INTPs are usually attracted to people with superior intellectual ability. Even if they’re not that smart, at least someone who can stimulate their curiosity and has basic manners. They just like the person they like. (Someone who can satisfy their intellectual curiosity?) They hate people who approach them too straightforwardly and people who are clingy and annoying. And one downside is, since INTPs are not desperately seeking love, this kind of crush can quickly fade. They thought it was a crush, but it was just curiosity, so their feelings cool down quickly. Even if they realize it’s a crush, they tend to give up on dating rather than choosing the ‘love and responsibility of love’. (Because they extremely hate troublesome things.) Also, they carefully observe the other person, so they quickly conclude whether you like them or not, judge the possibility, and conclude that ‘this is a love that cannot be’ so their crush doesn’t show. They’re not suitable for dating, but once they fall in love, they fall hard, so I think they can be happy if they end up with someone they like.”
“I’m someone who transitioned from ENFP to INTP after COVID… First of all, my eyes keep going to them, I mean, I spend the whole day just looking at them, should I say observing them? So I know every little thing about them, which makes me feel like a stalker.”
“The reason why there are no stories about INTPs here: I don’t know what I do when I have a crush or I just think about it internally and don’t bother to write it down. It’s bothersome…Oh, I just realized it’s bothersome to write this down. And I’m correcting a typo before I go.”
“INTPs are so lazy that I ended up writing this myself – The most common thing I do is ask a lot of questions (like I’m writing an encyclopedia about that person in my head) – Tries to help in any way – Overcomes laziness and keeps in touch – Sometimes pretends to need help to keep in touch”
“Even though I’m an INTP, once in a blue moon when I fall in love, I’m truly sincere. It’s like the epitome of love at first sight. If someone says they like me, I start to like them. 1. If I like someone, I struggle with what to say. 2. I can’t stop thinking about them. 3. I hope they approach me because I can’t make the first move. 4. I lose sleep imagining all kinds of scenarios about dating them.”
“I, as an INTP, try to confirm whether I like someone or not. If I suddenly feel they have lost interest in me, I quickly lose interest too. My responses are fast, and I start to talk more. My messages become longer. If they treat me well, I reciprocate in kind. I don’t hide what I feel and express it well. I try to share what I like (like songs). I ask a lot of questions to keep the conversation going. But, sometimes, this can come off as playing hard to get. Maybe I just enjoy the feeling of being liked… If I’m not interested, my responses are slow, and I don’t ask many questions.”
“I am an INTP, but I get tired searching for the comments… LOL”
“I’m an INTP. The common factor among people I’ve been attracted to is that they are smart… They are mature inside, have deep thoughts, are wise and even creative. I become curious about such people. I pretend not to know what they know, just to strike a conversation with them. I can’t look them in the eye, my laughter disappears, and I suddenly become a person of few words. I might come off as a boring person, but if I genuinely like them, I can’t say much. Still, I remember what they like, subtly take care of them, and once I get home, I do a ton of research about them.”
“Basically, as an INTP, I rarely fall for someone. However, once I do, I start analyzing this feeling and the reason behind it. Initially, I deny it, but as I analyze, I realize that I’ve already fallen for them. But in front of the person I genuinely like, I become awkward. My usual flirtatious self never appears. I try to appeal in my own way, but my typical INTP love means understanding the person as they are and accepting everything about them. It means respecting and admiring you as an individual. So, unless something happens, it lasts a very long time.”
“As an INTP female based on my standards… I’m very awkward. I can hardly look them in the eye, and when they talk to me, I become particularly unresponsive. I go home and dig up all the information about them. I try to know all their interests, basically, what kind of person they are, as if I’ve found a new research subject. But when I meet them, I might come off as cold and disinterested, which could lead to misunderstandings.”
“INTP – Pretend not to be interested – Try to bump into them on purpose – Avoid eye contact as much as possible – Don’t approach them first, or to be more precise, can’t approach them first – Fall for them quickly – Almost no chance of it happening because I can’t make the first move..”
“** How to win over an INTP (But this is just from my perspective since INTP might not agree) 1. Moderation in contact: I usually take forever to reply and don’t chitchat, but if the other person tries hard to reach out, I start to reflect and appreciate them, and my response speed gradually increases. ※Once the response time gets quicker, please slow down your pace, or the INTP will get exhausted※ 2. Share how your day went and how you felt: I usually don’t chat about daily life with others, so I lack data. This means I have trouble choosing conversation topics, so please throw some topics. If the INTP starts to ask you unexpected questions one after another, it means they are interested in you, so you may as well bask in it 3. Be honest: I think people who express their feelings honestly are adorable. But if you say you like them outright, they may run away, so just show a degree of liking ‘as a person’. 4. Refrain from badmouthing others: I already have difficulty empathizing, so I won’t deal with negative emotions. Everyone, including me, despises two-faced people because it damages your own image 5. Laugh well 6. Share hobbies: In fact, having the same hobbies alone gives you endless topics to talk about with an INTP, so I highly recommend it. The important thing is to enjoy it together. Pretending to enjoy is quite apparent and will only result in antipathy. 7. Act inexperienced: Even if you are an expert at dating, act immature. If they notice you are an expert, their defense will increase by five-fold ** If you start dating an INTP, 1. Voice your dissatisfaction: It’s annoying if you just sulk without speaking up. If you verbalize, I will try to understand and correct my behavior. 2. Don’t be obsessed with contact: The moment you start to push for more contact because of your emotions, you will see a miracle of the response time getting slower. Right now, the INTP is trying their best to keep in touch with you. If you don’t like the communication, don’t push it but build trust first. The moment you push, to INTP, the contact becomes a task they have to handle. 3. Avoid causing jealousy: INTPs tend to have strong possessiveness. They have clear boundaries between their own people and others, and this gets even stronger when they are dating. Even if they don’t show it, they feel great jealousy. They express affection but not jealousy. This is not because you are less attractive, but because they don’t want to ruin the relationships you have maintained. So stop asking why they don’t get jealous. Their suppressed jealousy will explode.”
“INTP – I never give away my feelings (although my heart is really racing inside) – I help or take care of them in a way that doesn’t show my feelings (If they leave something behind, I pick it up for them, if they’re having a hard time with their studies, I help them) – I become extremely careful with my words (I spend an hour debating whether or not to send them a happy birthday message) – I subtly give them compliments (like saying they draw well or have a nice notebook? but this seems to be specific to me lol) – It’s annoying to write all this, that’s all.”
“True INTP 0. I am insensitive to emotional things 1. I try to infer what I have done or intend to do to the other person, why I am doing it, and whether this act can justify that I like this person, but I can’t come to a conclusion about my thoughts 2. Because I can’t come to a conclusion, I constantly doubt myself 3. If the other person notices and gives an ok sign, I can enter a flirtatious relationship thanks to them. But since I don’t conclude that I like them, I keep doubting myself. If there’s no OK sign, I continue to agonize alone, but it’s not a painful and desperate unrequited love like others. Isn’t it normal for a normal person to think once a day? Based on this, I think ‘do I like this person?’ once a day or every few days to come to a conclusion. 4. When the flirtation starts, I listen to what the other person likes and records it in a notepad, because I don’t have good memory in this area. Based on these records, I start calculating what the other person might like. 5. I act based on the calculated actions from the recorded notes and minimize the margin of error. Also, my words change according to the other person’s feelings, so I reorganize them. 6. I read the recorded notes once a day as a duty. 7. Even if I don’t want to do something, if the other person emotionally likes it, I act calculatedly for them. 8. But I don’t come to a conclusion about the other person. 9. But if the other person brings benefits to me and is helpful, I can’t help but do whatever they ask to repay all these things.”
“I’m not sure if it’s just me as an INTP, but I pretend to dislike them. I’m so conscious of them that I deliberately ignore them… I know I’m awkward and don’t know what to do in front of someone I like, so I feel like they would notice if our eyes met or if I look at them, so I really ignore them. Then I regret it… On the contrary, I act like I know a lot and play a lot of pranks on close friends I’m not interested in, so it might seem like I like them to others. The person I like might also think I like them… because I ignore them! But I’m ignoring them because I like them… So, I often end up with an unrequited love because of this. Also, I’m really good at attaching meanings, so I get excited and fluttered by nothing, then get disappointed when I realize that person didn’t mean anything by their action and seems to dislike it, I get gloomy.”
“INTP – I get fluttery when I receive a message, but wait for at least 5 minutes before replying – I feel a bit gloomy when the messages start to dwindle – I am not exactly a beauty enthusiast, but when I have a crush, I become seriously love-blind – I frequently check their activity on social media, obsessively checking whether they’ve seen my stories – I don’t usually ask to hang out first, but I secretly enjoy it when they take the initiative – I don’t openly show jealousy, but I tend to care a lot internally – I pay a lot of attention to my physical appearance, to an almost unnecessary extent – I can be pretty unresponsive.”
“Just a passing INTP… I haven’t had a crush for years… Sometimes I wonder if I’ve lost the ability to love people, yet I think I’ve had over 100 ‘phone boyfriends’ in my photo album haha.”
“INTP – I’m pretty straightforward – I believe in destiny – If I like someone, I try to get their number first – I share a lot of TMI when I contact them – I become dysfunctional when I meet them – My face turns super red.”
“INTP 1. I often stare at them 2. I can be unresponsive 3. I circle around them 4. I laugh a lot 5. I tease them 6. I constantly simulate various dating scenarios in my head 7. I keep thinking about them if they treat me even slightly well 8. I blame and regret for days if I make a mistake in my words or actions 9. I also try to make eye contact When I decide to give up on my crush 1. I just give up ‘just because’ 2. When too much time has passed while I was debating whether to confess or not 3. When I feel like their behavior is pretentious 4. When I think the relationship is impossible.”
“INTP, I give up on trying to fit in. I predict disappointments before they happen and prefer it that way. I’ve had a crush for quite some time and thought I was giving off signals, but people around me asked if I didn’t like the person. When my crush talks to me, no matter how much I simulate the situation in my head, I just freeze. At some point, I find that I’m awkward with the people I genuinely like and the ones I don’t have much interest in are around me. We INTPs can’t even look at our crushes in the eye, and when they speak to us affectionately, I want to respond the same way, but end up being blunt.. Maybe that’s why our success rate with crushes is pretty low. In fact, I don’t desperately cling onto my crush, and although I don’t want to waste my emotions on a one-sided love, there is a part of me that gets to know myself through my crush, so it’s not all bad.”
“INTP, extremely subjective 1. I daydream a lot on my own 2. I’m careful with every word, but I sometimes end up creating a cringe moment when I get carried away by the atmosphere 3. I think I give off signals, but it seems like others don’t notice 4. I make extra efforts to adhere to grammar and etiquette 5. I carefully read up on my crush’s MBTI ideal type 6. I never confess first 7. I give off signals in chat, but act unresponsive in person 8. I always consider the worst-case scenario when sending a first message 9. I’ve had crushes on more than one person at the same time 10. I fall in love quickly, but it lasts quite a while.”
“As an INTP (subjectively speaking), it takes me a long time to recognize that I have feelings for someone, and I even doubt whether I really like them or not. When I see the person, I don’t exactly feel my heart fluttering or scream out of joy when our eyes meet.. It’s more like, ‘Hmm, they’re cute.’ That’s about it. I don’t blush like others do. I think they’re cute, and that’s all. But imagining them dating someone else gives me a jolt. I don’t want to share them with anyone, but I also think it’s not right to hold onto them, yet I wish to be with them. Plus, when I like someone, it’s hard to tell. There’s no change in my expressions or emotions. And from my personal experience, INTPs have unique ideal types. (That’s me) My friends ask me why my ideal type is so peculiar, but I guess I just like people who are cute by my standards. So the feelings I get when I see my crush can be summed up as ‘cute’ and ‘pretty’. Even from my own perspective, I think INTPs are like the warmest robots. + I can’t be too forward with the person I like and I rarely send the first message. I only reach out occasionally..”
“INTP • When not close – I try hard not to show that I like them – I pretend to look elsewhere but I’m actually looking at them – My eyes keep wandering towards them (but I avoid eye contact when our eyes meet..) – I loiter around them pretending not to be interested • When close – I listen to their stories well – I read their messages promptly (I usually read messages but don’t reply) – I think about them even before I go to bed – I try not to show that I like them, but I think it’s obvious – I treat them as if we are more than friends – I secretly want to create a romantic atmosphere between us It takes quite a while for me to admit that I like someone (honestly, I think I’m a fast mover, but I just don’t admit it..?) And personally, even if we both know that we like each other, I can’t confess first..”
“Things you shouldn’t do when you have feelings for an INTP because we tend to fall deeply in love and then give up on our own… Consider these when you converse with us: – Don’t intrude on our personal time (we are punctual, but we also value our alone time a lot.) – Don’t be clingy (we don’t like it when someone is overly attached, especially in communication. We hate it when someone nags.) – You need to be smart (we like intellectual things, so we absolutely need to be with someone who studies more than we do.) + You shouldn’t be stupid – We don’t like people who plan things (because we are so lazy, we don’t even keep the plans we make) + So much attention like this;;; These are just a few things to consider if you like INTPs.”
“I’m an INTP who is 50/50 E and I, and T and F. 1. Can’t initiate conversation (really won’t say a word unless the other person starts) 2. Tend to be detached 3. Becomes cold 4. Watches from afar? (pretends not to look, but pays attention) Basically, does nothing and eventually gives up on their own…”
“INTP 1. Falls in love quickly but it doesn’t last long 2. Needs to show emotions but hides it like a spy..lol 3. Can’t stop thinking about them when excited 4. Can never make the first move……. 5. Wants to know more about the person they like but has no way of finding out and just hovers around them 6. Thoroughly hides their feelings in front of the person they like 7. Mumbling 8. Doesn’t express their feelings even when treated well, but inside they’re going crazy 9. Doesn’t usually laugh, but laughs more than usual when they have a crush + no one around them ever knows about their crush… If they are not interested in me, I give up and move on, only to fall in love again.”
#INTP #in #love #when #fall #inLove #crush #arround #someone #they #like #act #reaction #pretend #boyfriend #gf #bf #girlfriend #eye #contact